Relax, Enjoy a Little, And Don’t Believe Everything on the Internet

By John E. Carey
October 27, 2006

The smash sitcom Seinfeld was a TV show about nothing. Put another way, Seinfeld and his friends made a fun TV show just because they could and they loved entertaining the rest of us. I think mostly they made it because it was fun to do!

Life is like that sometimes. So this is an essay mostly about nothing because I was entertained by many things today and I thought you might appreciate some of them too.

In the grocery store I watched an old gentleman come in, buy a gallon of rich chocolate swirl ice cream, and head to the salad bar for a spoon. After he paid, I followed him outside.

He got into his car and opened the ice cream and started to eat it.

I gave him the internationally recognized sign language for “roll down your window.” He looked skeptical and only rolled it down an inch.

I told him I wanted to talk. I told him I write about ageing issues for The Washington Times (see: http://peace-and-freedom.blogspot.com/2006_07_12_peace-and-freedom_archive.html). I told him I sometimes write about American culture.

He asked what I meant by American culture. I told him like the stuff in yogurt: that’s French culture. American culture is like the NFL and the Word Series. (See essays on culture at:
http://peace-and-freedom.blogspot.com/2006_07_14_peace-and-freedom_archive.html)

He laughed and offered that he hates the French. I told him all good Americans do.

I asked him what he thought about the president and he went on a tear. He said he had been in both the U.S. Army and the U.S. Navy.

“So why the ice cream?”

He responded. “I am 88 years old. My doctor wants me to lower my blood pressure and my cholesterol. I told him to F___ himself. I’m doing what I want. If not at this age, when then?”

Good point.

I went back into the grocery to get the things I needed but stopped long enough to tell the pumpkin pie story to four Black people (see: http://johnib.wordpress.com/2006/10/19/in-washington-dc-your-neighbors-could-be-somebody-or-cultural-pitfalls-of-a-yankee-dog/).

A woman opined that I am lucky to have a Vietnamese wife (and I sure know it) that puts up with my stupid antics. She said a Black wife would have “whooped my butt” by now.

She was right in all her analysis.

Then I went my merry way distributing the newspaper article my wife and I crafted about Vietnam. If you are a regular reader you know we are steamed that the President of the United States cannot seem to get freedom for Mrs. “Cuc” Foshee, an American citizen, wrongly imprisoned in Vietnam for over a year.

A guy reminded me that we have an Ambassador in Hanoi, Vietnam now and he probably gets paid more than $100,000 along with a house and a limo and a staff that we taxpayers pay for. “What the hell is that Ambassador doing?”

What indeed?

I am clueless. For the essay on Vietnam and “Cuc,” see: http://www.washtimes.com/commentary/20061026-090538-2780r.htm

In addition to giving the newspaper article my wife and I made for The Washington Times to all my pals and telling you about it, I took it to the 7/11 to the shopkeeper I call the Bangladeshi Virgin, I took it to the grocery store for Colin (his son has MS), I took it to Barbara that manages the gas station, I also gave one to Adonich (the Ethiopian clerk in the gas station) and I gave it to the gang at a sports bar and strip club!

I also met today one Petty Officer Second Class Mark Romo. He’s smart, sharp, polite and the kind of sailor that makes me proud to be an American. He’s a cryptologist so he is way smarter than me. I thank him for his service in wartime.

Finally, an irate relative sent me an email complaining that I exaggerated in a story (see: Leadership Ideas From the Movies: You’ll Never Guess Which One (Number Four) the essay below this on on: http://johnib.wordpress.com/).

I told him he may have missed a memo (see: http://news.com.com/2100-1023-204156.html?legacy=cnet). Great story tellers and some writers are not always encumbered by the facts.  Politicians have this trend too and do not provide us with a good example.  Maybe he’s heard that? And maybe on the internet there are some stories that are slightly exaggerated!

Geez.